The Best Draco Malfoy Quotes from the Harry Potter World: 115+ Classic Draco Lines!

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Ah, Draco Malfoy – the world’s most iconic literary and cinematic “baddie” who was redeemed in the end (no spoilers, since we assume you’re all hardcore geeks who have reread the books 150 times by now).

In honour of DracoTok sweeping the world and reigniting our unabashed love for Harry Potter (along with a KEEN interest in shifting), we’ve assembled a massive list of the best Draco Malfoy quotes and sayings for your delight!

We’ve researched high and low for all his best, most hilarious, and brutal lines, so that you can reenact ALL your fave scenes with your friends via Zoom! Bonus points if you grab some of his famous signature scent too or deck yourself out in epic Draco merch.

For purposes of this article, all quotes are taken from the eight films (with some bonus sections detailing our fave Malfoy lines from the books).

Let’s get to it, shall we?

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Draco Malfoy-Inspired Pickup Lines & Jokes

Before we hop into the best Draco quotes below, we just wanted to point you towards this fresh roundup of Draco-inspired pickup lines. Do with it what you will…

We also have some fun Draco puns & jokes here.

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Classic Draco Malfoy Quotes

These are the best of the best! The most iconic, renowned, and overused Draco Malfoy lines from the films that have most likely made their way to every meme, GIF, and TikTok sound across the web. Here’s our list of classic Draco Malfoy quotes:

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“And my name’s Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“It’s true then, what they’re saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Honestly, Goyle, if you were any slower, you’d be going backwards.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Scared, Potter?”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Oh yeah, terribly funny. Really witty. God this place has gone to the dogs. Wait until my father hears that Dumbledore’s got this oaf teaching classes.”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (made famous by that awesome TikTok audio!)

“It’s killed me! It’s killed me!”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Nice face, Potter!”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The Most Malicious Malfoy Quotes

As much as we love Tom, his character in the Harry Potters films was (honestly) a pretty horrid bully… no matter how good he looked in a suit. Here’s a roundup of the most malicious Draco Malfoy quotes from the films:

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“Think my name’s funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair… and a hand-me-down robe. You must be a Weasley.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“You’ll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don’t wanna go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he’d have remembered to fall on his fat ass.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Bet you loved that, didn’t you Potter. Famous Harry Potter can’t even go into a bookshop without making the front page.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“You see, Weasley, unlike some, my father can afford the best.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Father always said that Dumbledore was the worst thing that ever happened to this place.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a mudblood died. So it’s only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me, I hope it’s Granger.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“‘Enemies of the Heir, Beware?’ You’ll be next, mudbloods.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“You’re not dangerous at all, are you, you great ugly brute!”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“You two shopping for your new dream home? Bit grand for you, isn’t it, Weasel-Bee? Don’t your family all sleep in… one room?”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Potter! Is it true you fainted? I mean, you actually fainted?”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Father and I are in the minister’s box. By personal invitation of Cornelius Fudge himself.”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“My father and I have a bet, you see. I don’t think you’re gonna last 10 minutes in this tournament. He disagrees. He thinks you won’t last five!”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“I’m surprised the Ministry’s still letting you walk around free, Potter. You better enjoy it while you can. I expect there’s a cell in Azkaban with your name on it.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Didn’t mummy ever tell you it was rude to eavesdrop, Potter? Petrificus Totalus! Oh yeah. She was dead before you could wipe the drool off your chin.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“That was for my father. Enjoy your ride back to London.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Funny Draco Malfoy Quotes that Made Us Let Out a Hearty Chuckle

Draco Malfoy’s got jokes! Below are some of Malfoy’s finest lines from the films that prove he could have had a career in stand-up:

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“Oh, look, Potter, you got yourself a girlfriend!”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Training for the ballet, Potter?”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Why are you wearing glasses? […] Reading? I didn’t know you could read.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
BONUS: Watch Tom Felton’s lip sync to this line on his TikTok!

“You’re gonna regret this! You and your bloody chicken!”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Lupin: Very good. A little louder please, and very clearly. Rid-di-kulus.
Class: Riddikulus!
Malfoy: [under his breath] This class is ridiculous.”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Weasley, you weren’t thinking of wearing these, were you? I mean, they were very fashionable in about 1890.”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“What’d I tell you? Complete nutter.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Ok, ok! I was gate crashing. Happy?”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Wuss-Worthy Draco Malfoy Lines

Let’s face it: Malfoy talked the talk, but he didn’t always walk the walk. Whether we Draco fangirls like to admit it or not, he was possibly one of the biggest scaredy-cats of the entire Harry Potter series! Here’s a roundup of his lines that would get him the gold medal for Wuss of the Year:

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“Excuse me, professor. Perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said the four of us.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“The forest? I thought that was a joke! We can’t go in there, students aren’t allowed! And there are…. werewolves!”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Okay. Then I get Fang!”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Wait ’til my father hears about this! This is servant’s stuff!”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Pansy Parkinson: Does it hurt terribly, Draco?
Malfoy: It comes and it goes. Still, I consider myself lucky. If it wasn’t for Madame Pomfrey, another minute or two and I could have lost my arm; couldn’t possibly do any homework for weeks.”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

[after getting punched by Hermione]
“Quick! Not a word to anyone! Understood?”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Don’t you dare insult my mother, Potter.”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“‘I’m not afraid!’ snarled Malfoy, though he still made no move to hurt Dumbledore. ‘It’s you who should be scared!'”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince [book]

Best Draco Malfoy Burns from the Harry Potter Books

In Latin, Draco means “dragon,” which is fitting for most of the verbal fireballs he spits out. Sadly, not all his best burns made it into the movies, so here are some of Draco Malfoy’s best savage moments from the Harry Potter books:

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“Did you see his face, the great lump?”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Longbottom, if brains were gold, you’d be poorer than a Weasley, and that’s saying something.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“What would you know about it, Weasley, you couldn’t afford the handle. I suppose you and your brothers have to save up, twig by twig.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Are you trying to earn some extra money, Weasley? Hoping to be gamekeeper yourself when you leave Hogwarts, I suppose – that hut of Hagrid’s must seem like a palace compared to what your family’s used to.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“I do feel sorry for all those people who have to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas because they’re not wanted at home.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter. It’d be worth more than his family’s whole house.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“All right there, Scarhead?”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley. I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all those.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute – in case you get too near a dementor.”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Well, look who it is. Potty and the Weasel. I heard your father finally got his hands on some gold this summer, Weasley. Did your mother die of shock?”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“‘Look at the state of his robes,’ Malfoy would say in a loud whisper as Professor Lupin passed. He dresses like our old house elf.'”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Or perhaps you can remember what your mother’s house stank like, Potter, and Weasley’s pigsty reminds you of it.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“We wanted to write another couple of verses! But we couldn’t find rhymes for fat and ugly – we wanted to sing about his mother, see –”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Additional Draco Malfoy Zingers from the Harry Potter Books

We all know that Malfoy dished out some really juicy lines in the books (but most didn’t make it into the films, booooo). Here’s a compilation of Malfoy’s best zingers from the books!

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“Then I’m going to drag them off to look at racing brooms, I don’t see why the first years can’t have their own. I think I’ll bully father into getting me one and I’ll smuggle it in somehow.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Father says it’s a crime if I’m not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

[about Hagrid] “I heard he’s a sort of savage – lives in a hut in the school grounds and every now and then he gets drunk, tries to do magic and ends up setting fire to his bed.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“But we don’t feel like leaving, do we, boys? We’ve eaten all our food, and you still seem to have some.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“Imagine being in Hufflepuff. I think I’d leave. Wouldn’t you?”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“I’d be careful if I were you, Potter. Unless you’re a bit politer, you’ll go the same way as your parents. They didn’t know what was good for them, either. You hang around with riffraff like the Weasleys and that Hagrid, and it’ll rub off on you.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“You know how I think they choose people for the Gryffindor team? It’s people they feel sorry for. See, there’s Potter, who’s got no parents, then there’s the Weasleys, who’ve got no money – you should be on the team, Longbottom, you’ve got no brains.”
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“‘Everyone queue up!’ Malfoy roared to the crowd. ‘Harry Potter’s giving out signed photos!'”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Jealous? Of what? I don’t want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don’t think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Arthur Weasley loves Muggles so much he should snap his wand in half and go and join them. You’d never know the Weasleys were pure-bloods, the way they behave.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Be careful, Weasley. You don’t want to start any trouble or your mummy’ll have to come and take you away from school.”
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Of course, if it was me, I’d have done something before now. I wouldn’t be staying in school like a good boy, I’d be out there looking for him.”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Maybe you’d rather not risk your neck. Want to leave it to the dementors, do you? But if it was me, I’d want revenge. I’d hunt him down myself.”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic? And he’s supposed to be our teacher!”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“The dementors send their love, Potter!”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“‘And there’s the picture, Weasley!’ said Malfoy, flipping the paper over and holding it up. ‘A picture of your parents outside their house – if you can call it a house! Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn’t she?'”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“You’ve picked the losing side, Potter! I warned you! I told you you ought to choose your company more carefully, remember? When we met on the train, first day at Hogwarts? I told you not to hang around with riffraff like this!”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“‘You’re joking, Weasley?’ said Malfoy, behind them. ‘You’re not telling me someone’s asked that to the ball? Not the long-molared Mudblood!'”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“‘Well, I can certainly see why we’re trying to keep them alive,’ said Malfoy sarcastically. ‘Who wouldn’t want pets that can burn, sting and bite all at once?'”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“Got your autograph books? Better get a signature now, because I doubt he’s going to be around much longer… half the Triwizard champions have died… how long d’you reckon you’re going to last, Potter? Ten minutes into the first task’s my bet.”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“Hey, Potter! Potter! How’s your head? You feeling all right? Sure you’re not going to go berserk on us?”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“Imagine them not even getting his name right, Weasley. It’s almost as though he’s a complete nonentity, isn’t it?”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“‘Want one, Granger?’ said Malfoy, holding out a badge to Hermione. ‘I’ve got loads. But don’t touch my hand, now. I’ve just washed it, you see; don’t want a Mudblood sliming it up.'”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“‘Take this thing for a walk?’ he repeated in disgust, staring into one of the boxes. ‘And where exactly are we supposed to fix the leash? Around the sting, the blasting end, or the sucker?'”
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“You see, I, unlike you, have been made a Prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“But you like the Weasleys, don’t you, Potter? Spend holidays there and everything, don’t you? Can’t see how you stand the stink, but I suppose when you’ve been dragged up by Muggles, even the Weasley’s hovel smells OK–”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“And as for Potter… my father says it’s a matter of time before the ministry has him carted off to St. Mungo’s… apparently they’ve got a special ward for people whose brains have been addled by magic.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Tell me, how does it feel being second-best to Weasley, Potter?”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“So even if that overgrown moron does show up again, he’ll probably be sent packing straight away.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“I’ve never seen a worse Keeper… but then he was born in a bin… did you like my lyrics, Potter?”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“You’re going to pay. I’m going to make you pay for what you’ve done to my father…”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Weasley cannot save a thing,
He cannot block a single ring,
That’s why Slytherins all sing:
Weasley is our King.
Weasley was born in a bin,
He always lets the Quaffle in,
Weasley will make sure we win,
Weasley is our King.
Weasley is our King,
Weasley is our King,
He always lets the Quaffle in,
Weasley is our King.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“You’re dead, Potter.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Of course, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“What’s that Weasley’s riding?’ Malfoy called in his sneering drawl. ‘Why would anyone put a Flying Charm on a moldy old log like that?'”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Well, just watch yourself, Potter, because I’ll be dogging your footsteps in case you step out of line.”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“New Head, new times… Be good now, Potty… Weasel King…”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“You’d better hurry up, they’ll be waiting for ‘the Chosen Captain’ — ‘The Boy Who Scored’— whatever they call you these days.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“If you’re wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“I don’t need your help! Don’t you understand? I have to do this! I have to kill you… or he’s gonna kill me!”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“You don’t know what I’m capable of,” said Malfoy more forcefully. “You don’t know what I’ve done!”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“‘I haven’t got any options!’ said Malfoy, and he was suddenly white as Dumbledore. ‘I’ve got to do it! He’ll kill me! He’ll kill my whole family!'”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“I mean, I might not even be at Hogwarts next year, what’s it matter to me if some fat old has-been likes me or not?”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Defense Against the Dark Arts – it’s all just a joke, isn’t it, an act? Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts –”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Looks like you’ll have to break it, then, because I don’t need your protection! It’s my job, he gave it to me and I’m doing it, I’ve got a plan and it’s going to work, it’s just taking a bit longer than I thought it would.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“I might have – er – moved on to bigger and better things.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“When the Dark Lord takes over, is he going to care how many O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s anyone’s got? Of course he isn’t… It’ll be all about the kind of service he received, the level of devotion he was shown.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“Don’t you dare talk to my mother like that, Potter!”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“I virtually lived in the Room of Hidden Things all last year.”
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“I’m Draco Malfoy, I’m Draco, I’m on your side!”
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“That’s my wand you’re holding, Potter.”
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Stand back. Line up against the back wall. Don’t try anything, or I’ll kill you!”
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Draco Malfoy Quotes from Harry Potter and The Cursed Child

Malfoy also had a large role in The Cursed Child, and his character arc is thankfully explained a bit better as well. Here are our fave Malfoy lines from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child!

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child play
Via Elizabeth Jamieson, Unsplash

“Most of the time, I think you have to make a choice— at a certain point— of the man you want to be. And I will tell you at that time, you need a parent or a friend. And if you’ve learnt to hate your parent by then and you have no friends… then you’re all alone. And being alone— that’s so hard.”

“Hermione Granger, I’m being bossed around by Hermione Granger. And I’m mildly enjoying it.”

Malfoy: Flipendo! Keep up, old man.
Harry: We’re the same age, Draco.
Malfoy: I wear it better.”

“I don’t care what you did or who you saved, you are a constant curse on my family, Harry Potter.”

“We can hug, too, if you like…”

“It is exceptionally lonely, being Draco Malfoy. I will always be suspected. There is no escaping the past. I never realized, though, that by hiding him away from this gossiping, judgmental world, I ensured that my son would emerge shrouded in worse suspicion than I ever endured.”

“And being alone– that’s so hard. I was alone. And it sent me to a truly dark place. For a long time, Tom Riddle was a lonely child. You may not understand, Harry, but I do…”

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“You– the three of you– you shone, you know? You liked each other. You had fun. I envied those friendships more than anything else.”

“We haven’t become anything – we simply are as we are.”

Harry: What did you want to do?
Malfoy: Quidditch. But I wasn’t good enough. Mainly, I wanted to be happy.”

And finally, here’s a scene that was sadly deleted but would have showed how Malfoy redeemed Harry in The Deathly Hallows: Part 2:

Via 22KEIRA22

What About the “Did someone say Draco Malfoy?!?!” Quote

Last but certainly not least, if you’re wondering about the “DID SOMEONE SAY DRACO MALFOY?” line that’s being used constantly in TikTok audio, that particular Draco quote can’t be found in any Harry Potter book or movie…

That’s because this (now iconic) line comes from the hilarious “A Very Potter Musical”, which you can watch in its entirety on YouTube here.

via GIPHY

Did We Miss Any Iconic Draco Malfoy Lines?

We hope you enjoyed our comprehensive roundup of quotes from our fave HP baddie! Let us know in the comments if we were hit with the “Obliviate!” charm and accidentally forgot some of your fave lines of his. And remember, the magic will be with you, always!

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