The 40+ Best Gimli Quotes & Lines from Lord of the Rings

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I’m going to say it… Gimli made dwarves cool again.

I mean, yeah, The Hobbit movies took the idea and ran with it, but years before Thorin and Kili made dwarves sexy, we were falling in love with John Rhys-Davies as the hilarious Gimli, son of Gloin. His banter with the elf Legolas, his loyalty and his fighting prowess were some of the best parts of the Lord of the Rings films.

Aside from the iconic duo of Merry and Pippin, Gimli gave us the most laughs throughout the films, while still managing to be inspiring. We’ve rounded up all our favorite Gimli quotes for you to enjoy here, so read on for some laughs as you head down memory lane.

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Want more Lord of the Rings quotes? Check these out:

The Most Iconic and Well-Known Gimli Quotes

We’ve gotta include Gimli’s most iconic lines, which you probably already know and maybe like to use in your own life, if you can.

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“I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Elf! Never trust an Elf!” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“Aragorn: [to Frodo] If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword…
Legolas: And you have my bow.
Gimli: And my axe.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“You are full of surprises, Master Baggins.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“[out of breath] I’m wasted on cross-country! We Dwarves are natural sprinters, very dangerous over short distances.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“[after Legolas single-handedly takes out an Oliphant and its drivers] Gimli: That still only counts as one!” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

The Best Funny Gimli Quotes

Of course this is the largest section, because Gimli has so many witty lines! Maybe don’t read this bit in public if you don’t want to laugh out loud while being reminded of Gimli’s best funny quotes.

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“If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they’re not, I’d say we were taking the long way around.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“[Aragorn tosses Sam over a gap, and then sets his eyes on Gimli] 
Gimli: Nobody tosses a Dwarf. [Gimli leaps, but is balancing off the edge, so Legolas grabs his beard] Not the beard!” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“Gimli: Well, here’s one Dwarf she won’t ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox. [Elves suddenly appear, covering them with arrows at point-blank range. Gimli looks very surprised] 
Haldir: The Dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“Aragorn: We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let’s hunt some Orc.
Gimli: YES!” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“[exhausted from running] Keep breathing. That’s the key. Breathe.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“[sounds of trees ‘speaking’ is heard] 
Aragorn: Gimli, lower your axe.
Legolas: They have feelings, my friend. The elves began it, waking up the trees, teaching them to speak.
Gimli: Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about, hmm… except the consistency of squirrel droppings?” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“[upon seeing the atmosphere in Edoras] You’ll find more cheer in a graveyard.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Gimli: It’s true you don’t see many Dwarf-women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for Dwarf-men.
Aragorn: [whispering to Eowyn] It’s the beards.
Gimli: And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf-women, and that Dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground! [Eowyn laughs] Which is, of course, ridiculous.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Gimli: Whatever luck you live by… let’s hope it lasts the night.
Legolas: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
Gimli: Let’s hope they last the night…” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Gimli: Legolas! Two already!
Legolas: I’m on seventeen!
Gimli: Huh? I’ll have no pointy-ear outscoring me! The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Gimli: Oh come on, we can take ’em.
Aragorn: It’s a long way.
Gimli: Toss me.
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: I cannot jump the distance, you’ll have to toss me. [pauses, looks up at Aragorn] Don’t tell the Elf.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“[from the extended version]
Legolas: Final count, forty-two.
Gimli: Forty-two? Oh, that’s not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. Hmph! I myself am sitting pretty on forty-THREE.
Legolas: [takes out an arrow, and shoots the Uruk Gimli is sitting on in the stomach] Forty-three.
Gimli: He was already dead!
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twitching because he’s got my axe EMBEDDED IN HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM!” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

Merry: Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!
Gimli: You young rascals! A merry hunt you’ve led us on, and now we find you… feasting and… and smoking.
Pippin: We are sitting on a field of victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts [Merry blows a smoke ring] The salted pork is particularly good.
Gimli: [eagerly] Salted pork?” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“[in a drinking game] 
Gimli: It’s the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy women. [he burps] 
Legolas: I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it’s affecting me.
Gimli: What did I say? He can’t hold his liquor. [Gimli passes out]” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“Gimli: Where do you think you’re going?
Aragorn: Not this time, Gimli. This time you must stay.
[Legolas walks up to them, leading his horse] Legolas: Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of Dwarves?
Gimli: You may as well accept it. We’re going with you, laddie.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“Well, this is a thing unheard of. An Elf would go underground, where a Dwarf dare not. Oh, I’d never hear the end of it.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Aragorn: Legolas, fire a warning shot past the bosun’s ear.
Gimli: Mind your aim! [Legolas aims; Gimli knocks the bow as he shoots and the arrow kills the bosun] Oh! That’s it, right! We warned you! Prepare to be boarded! The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“There’s plenty for the both of us, may the best Dwarf win.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“The Mouth of Sauron: And who is this? Isildur’s heir? It takes more to make a King that a broken Elvish blade… [Aragorn cuts off the Mouth of Sauron’s head with one stroke of Anduril] 
Gimli: I guess that concludes negotiations.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

The Best Serious and Angry Gimli Lines

Most of the time Gimli isn’t trying to be funny, he can actually be quite fierce, after all he is a warrior! These are the best angry or serious Gimli quotes, usually said when he’s about to start swinging his axe.

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“Let them come. There is one Dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“Gimli: Speak words we can all understand!
Haldir: We have not had dealings with the dwarves since the dark days.
Gimli: And you know what this dwarf says to that? Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul! [I spit upon your grave!]“ The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“[to a Warg] Bring your pretty face to my axe.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Gimli: I’ve heard enough. [to Legolas] Shoot him. Stick an arrow in his gob.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“Gandalf: He’s suffered a defeat, yes, but… behind the walls of Mordor, our enemy is regrouping.
Gimli: Let him stay there. Let him rot! Why should we care?” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

The Best Sweet and/or Sad Gimli Quotes

Very occasionally, Gimli shows a bit of sweetness, especially when it comes to the hobbits and lady Galadriel. These are our favorite sweet or sad Gimli lines.

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“Gimli: [upon leaving Lorien and Galadriel] I have been dealt a wound beyond all healing, for I have looked the last… upon that which was fairest. [sighs] Henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me.
Legolas: What was it?
Gimli: I asked for one hair from her golden head… she gave me three.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Legolas: You mean not to follow them.
Aragorn: Frodo’s fate is no longer in our hands.
Gimli: Then it has all been in vain. The fellowship has failed.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“Eomer: The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night.
Gimli: But there were two Hobbits! Did you see two Hobbits with ’em?
Aragorn: They would be small. Only children to your eyes.
Eomer: We left none alive. We piled the carcasses and burned them.
Gimli: Dead?” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Gimli: My lady…
Eowyn: Lord Aragorn… where is he?
Gimli: He fell.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Gimli: Never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an Elf.
Legolas: What about side by side with a friend?
Gimli: Aye. I could do that.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Bonus: Gimli Quotes from the Books

Gimli’s character is slightly different in the books from in the films, so some of his lines didn’t make it into the movies. Here are the best Gimli lines from the books that weren’t included on the big screen.

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“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“Tell me Legolas, why did I come on this Quest? Little did I know where the chief peril lay! Truly Elrond spoke, saying that we could not foresee what we might meet upon our road. Torment in the dark was the danger that I feared, and it did not hold me back. But I would not have come, had I known the danger of light and joy.” The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

“You are a Wood-elf, anyway, though Elves of any kind are strange folk. Yet you comfort me. Where you go, I will go. But keep your bow ready to hand, and I will keep my axe loose in my belt. Not for use on trees,” he added hastily, looking up at the tree under which they stood.” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“Come, come!” he shouted, swinging his axe. “Since Gandalf’s head is now sacred, let us find one that it is right to cleave!” The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

“There are countless things still to see in Middle-earth, and great works to do. But if all the fair folk take to the Havens, it will be a duller world for those who are doomed to stay.” The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Did We Miss Any of Your Favorite Gimli Quotes?

Let us know in the comments below!

Want more Lord of the Rings quotes? Check these out:

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Kristy Brandt

Originally from Tasmania, Australia, Kristy was living in London when she unexpectedly met a Dutch bloke and ended up moving to the Netherlands to be with him. Now she can be found taking numerous photos of their four weird cats, eating lots of stroopwafels and blogging at Tassie Devil Abroad.

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